April 2013!

 Wow!  So here it is 2013!!  Life is so different than it was just 2 years ago!

After dating John, I dated my high school sweet heart.  I remember why I fell for him in the first place.  We had a lot of good times over the year we dated. We answered some very big lingering questions.  It was good to connect with him again as an adult. Garth Brooks sings it- Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.  I have been in his shoes.... it was a good reminder why you need that time between getting divorced and dating to really figure out who you are.

To those I dated in that "dating too soon" out of the marriage chute.  I am sorry for the hell I put you through.  I'm sorry for those of you whose feelings I hurt.  I'm sorry for those who fell for my smile and I pushed back with a pitch fork. (a few with a cattle prod) It's not an excuse but I didn't know who I was.  I had been married for more than half of my life at the time.  I didn't know any better.  I didn't want a relationship- but I had no clue what I wanted.

I learned though- I really don't want to be a step mom, and I don't want my children having a step dad. I'm so glad I learned this now, not later.   There are huge expectations- and so much difficulty trying to make everyone happy.  Especially when the (recent ex-wife)wants you to do nothing but suffer, jealousy from the children that is excused rather than dealt with.  Way too much baggage- and it would be a huge struggle trying to make life "fair".       Kudo's to you people who do that successfully, you amaze me!

I never started up my singles websites again after dating John. Not having one created a whole new sense of freedom.  I have no desire to date, I don't want to be single my whole life either.  I have been hanging out with my family- my children and my ex-husband.   Now before you freak.... lol My ex and I have gotten along well for years.  In fact- not sure if I mentioned it before or not- we live in the same house; I live in the in-law apartment.  (its the house we had when we were married)  We fight just enough to remind us why we aren't married.  We have an odd relationship and it works for us.

 I have found the time to work in the yard- I love it! Oh and for the love of iFunny & PINTEREST- I am addicted. I find so much more simple joys in my life when I'm not running around trying to date.  I have put more miles on my car driving between Tooele Utah and Kanosh Utah!!     I doubt that I'll be out there in the dating world any time soon.  My experiences- many that I have not shared here are enough to keep me from jumping back into that sea!  For those of you who shared a laugh thank you for stopping by.  or 2- For the men on my blog- I hope you wised up, I doubt it- I'm sure I could create another profile and keep you all entertained for years.  I just don't have it in me to continue on that road it's exhausting!

I have learned so much in my 8 years of being divorced. Each person who came into my life and taught me lessons I didn't know I needed to learn.
If I ever go searching for my hearts desires again- I know it's never further than my own back yard.

May you all find love and happiness- and may he be single, rich, handsome, kind, funny, sweet, endearing, obedient, trustworthy.... honest... and may he be completely in love with you!  (and only you) 

Smilin'Jessica

Funny... Written in 2011- not posted until I updated again April 2013.

What can I say, I'm a lazy blogger!!

When dating- if the man finds out you have a dating blog- they do everything in their power to stay off of it, or they instantly make it. Interestingly enough- once upon a time- as any good fairytale starts-

So four weeks and 4 days ago.. I went on a first date with a man from POF we'd been talking, emailing, texting. It was one of the best first dates ever. So good infact he deleted his POF account that night.. it might of been the next night.

The following days I got to see him more than I've wanted to see anyone in the past 6 years. Our 2nd date we went to Texas Road House, a movie and a drive- ended up in a snow ball fight. On 03/01/2011 I deleted my POF account, 29 seconds later I deleted my match.com account.

On Thursday 03/03/2011 I for the first time ever- changed my relationship status on facebook. Not sure if it was the right timing- since he was on percocet from his surgery that day- and while he changed his status- he updated his to married- If that doesnt make it official- possibly serious.. I dont know what does!

On Friday March 11, 2011 by accident I deleted our 2500 text messages by accident... I was way disappointed I did that. Dang, I could kick myself!

When I woke up from my surgery a week ago today- he was there! I've met his parents- Tuesday night he met my children they adore him!

So my dear John, you've made my blog- not for the same reason as the rest of these jackwagons- but for all the right reasons. Thank you for showing me how it feels to get beyond twitterpated... beyond crush, beyond the "like" stage. Thank you for the things you do that make me feel like a million bucks. Thank you for the shirt I wear to bed- because it smells like you, thank you for the laughs, the smiles, the hugs, the good morning beautiful texts- THAT ARE ONLY SENT TO ME... Thank you for embracing my family- they'll continue to give you shit- but it's all in good fun.. Thank you for being a romantic... for being there, for being you!

Yes, I realize it's early- it's been 4 weeks and 4 days- but in that short time- we've covered more ground than guys I dated for months.


So I had started this post and never published it.  It didnt end up working out between us, and I'm not sure why.  But John is a good man and a good friend.  It didn't work out for us, but dating him has shown me there are still GOOD guys out there.  You just have to find them.

Sincerely
Jessica

Ever had a zit that keeps coming back?

After this whole experience- I have been a little tired of the dating scene so I have put my dating on the back burner- I've been having a great time with the kids and spring cleaning the house. I thought I was done with the man, however LOL- When I got to work today- a co-worker came up and talked to me about a friend of her sisters- who happened to go out with Patrick on Saturday night. After discussing it with my co-worker I decided to take a stand with him. I sent him the following email: >>> Jessica Cook 1/31/2011 12:34 PM >>>
It was brought to my attention that you are telling people that I am still texting you and that you are referring to me as the crazy girl. Not only have I NOT sent you ANY Text messages since that night, I don't wish to have ANY contact with you! If I hear from one more person you are continuing to tell others that keep in mind that it's defamation of character. Feel free to link them to my blog- as it speaks for it's self. I'm sorry your obsessed with getting caught and that you cant just learn a lesson and stop the behavior.

Grow up and move on! He replied: I am NOT talking about you!! Please leave me alone
I replied:I have left you alone Patrick, I want nothing to do with your lying. However the information I received said that you mentioned ME to MEGAN on this last Saturday night. So I insist that you stop, my sources far outreach yours.
Just knock it off!
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE.
Jessica At this point I have to say- he's using it all for sympathy points with women who have not found out the truth about him. I hope with all my HEART he continues to link women to my blog. Ladies if you get linked to this and you want to email me- feel free JessicaCook73@aol.com.

Sitting Back....

So over the past week since the last blog, it was brought to my attention that Patrick is copy and pasting women portions of the blog-trying to make me look crazy- and unfortunately for him linking women directly to the blog.

Couple of facts: I have not MET any of the men on the blog- Patrick was a near miss! This is not the type of guys I date. These are the cream of the crap crop. I'll be blogging the men in my life soon.

Patrick is free to date as many women as he can at any given time, I'm not jealous or crazy. I just dont support players in any fashion including but not limited to their school tuition, cell phone bills, any rent or utilities. Its no wonder Patrick was trying to play so many women, he wants a sugar momma to pay for his shit. I know for a fact he's asked 2 of the 7 women to pay for stuff for him. Imagine asking a single mother of 4 to pay for your tuition to school. Does this not scream SCUM BAG? Like she doesnt have enough to pay for. He even made sure to ask if we could live in my house when we got married. As if!

So Patrick... just because I was able to beat you at the game you thought you played so well doesn't mean I'm crazy. Opposite rather, my wits are intact, my heads' on straight, I can look at myself in the mirror and know I'm living a life with integrity. I cannot say I'm perfect or that I've never lied. I have, I've been a player, I've been mean, I've been dumb. I learned my lesson. Hopefully someday soon you will too. Take a good look at yourself Patrick, if your mother knew everything about her "returned missionary" son, do you think she'd be proud? For all those you've told you may need a lawyer- please- we both know you wont need one for this- maybe for something else you've been doing in your life.

For the one and only woman who stood up for you- Hun, you get what you deserve. I'm not childish or jealous you can have Patrick and all his lies- yes I put him in his place, and I did it in a public way. (If only I knew where to get a drum of tar and 6'8 worth of feathers.) This may make me a bitch.. but I'm a proud one. You even said you do the same thing, You'll get yours.


My point: Feel free to flirt all you want- feel free to date as many women/men as you want. But for HELLS SAKE BE HONEST! Don't use the same lines, dont send mass texts, but I guess that would be one way to remember what you've told each woman- if you use the same lines over and over.

Oh one more thing for today's lesson: PAY YOUR TICKETS- Parking, speeding, headlights, taillights, no proof of insurance, all of them- when left unpaid- cash only warrants are issued.... oh and wear your seat belt!

Patrick the Playa...

Okay so this one really has me laughing, I cannot laugh hard enough.

His profile: my hobbies are music (glam), movies, and concerts. My goal everyday is to make someone smile that is having a bad day!! I believe that when you wake up in the morning you choose whether your going to have a good happy day or a sad pissy one!! What makes me unique is im 6'8 and a big teddy bear! Im a very caring person and enjoy taking care of who I am with. Im in school to become a nurse. I still have a ways to go, but once I am done I will probably continue with school and become a social worker, so I can do both. Well at least that is my goal anyway. Wanna know more send me a message.

Unlike the rest of the boys on my blog, I gave this one my number it's been a week, text messages- I was going to meet him and have dinner tonight. His emails and text messages were nothing to blog about... he seemed like a normal guy, and I believe he had good intentions- he never said anything that sent off alarms... red flags or other things until today.

He seemed thoughtful and nice and sent me cute messages like the one this morning.... Hey beautiful, just wanna wish you a great day :-)

Cute isnt it..... well today he accidentally picked to send it to my email and not my cell phone- well when you do that- you can see all the numbers the text message is sent to LMAO.

He sent it to 7 of us.... 7 women. I debated throughout the day what to do since we were going to meet at 6:30 for dinner. I debated calling each of the numbers and inviting them to dinner with us. I thought about reserving a table for 8. I thought about standing him up. I really didnt know what to do until I was on my way there. I wrote him a message- on the bottom of the email- I said

Hey Patrick, Wasnt sure if all these "beautiful" women would be showing up tonight. After thinking about it all day today I decided it might be best if you give one of them a call to join you for dinner. I'm not interested in being 1 of 7 women being "wooe'd" by you. Good Luck Jessica OH BTW- Lose my number and email.

I walked into Applebee's and handed the Hostess the note- and said there will be a very tall man coming here to meet me tonight- will you give him this? She of course looked at me funny, I said read it- it's funny!

I walked out to my car and left. I of course got a text message from him-

Him: I got it. :( good luck

Me: You too.

Him: Why did you make me come here?

Me: I wasnt sure how to handle it, I wrote the note as I was driving. You have a lot of nerve, but you're not a very good player.

Him: Do you realize I'm not dating anyone :(

Him: A good player?

Me: You sent the same text message to 7 women at the same time, 7 SEVEN!

Him: But I have not dated any of them. You were the one I thought of 1st when I had a day off. It's cool my loss.

Me: Each one believes it's just for her, to me thats the definition of asshole

Him: Guess I really dont know how to date. Still kinda new at it. Like I said my loss. I'm not really an ass. Wish you would of seen for yourself and not judge me on a text.

Me: Advice.. 1 at a time is advised. The way I see it I saved myself a load of tears, Oh and stop sending mass flirt messages.

Him: You will never know. When I go on a date I date one person. It is true I've been trying to befriend several, but the one day I asked off I asked you, not them.

Me: I almost replied all and invited them to join us, you could of speed dated all of us tonight.

Him: Whats wrong with dating lots? I'm sorry really I am :( I'll leave ya alone.

Me: Dating lots isnt a problem if they know they are 1 of lots, you have 6 other women to call, make some excuse... "Hey, I just got the night off... wanna go see a movie?"

Him: If you were to of asked I would of told you I'm talking to some others, but you have not dated them.

Me: Why would I ask? I was already getting messages from you "I like you already" "Cant wait to hug you"

Him: Which were true, why do you think I chose you? It dont matter now, not even sure why I'm pleading my case. Later Good Luck.

Me: You know you lost BIG... I hope you learn from this, I'll bet if I sent them messages they would think the text messages was meant for only them too.

Him: Ya I can see how that would be. I'm not perfect in anyway. Only one thing I can say is sorry.

Me: Nobody is perfect, nobody expected perfect.. I expect upfront and honest.

Him: I never once lied to you.

Me: Hell, there wasnt enough time between all those text messages to 7 women, it's all good I just hope you learn from this.

Him: :( Well your pic is gone, work number is gone, email is gone, only thing left is your cell.

Me: You too, I'm glad I sent the pic so you wouldnt confuse me with the others.

Then I hit that deadly REPLY ALL BUTTON and sent the following message to the numbers that also received the mass text this morning.... Hey Ladies, since we are all beautiful women I just thought I'd let you all know Patrick is off tonight, as we were going to meet for dinner- but when I got this mass text sent to my email- and seen 6 other numbers I decided against it.
Good Luck!

I got this message from one of the numbers back: You just made my night I'm afraid to say. My name is Holli and you must be Jessica

I'm thinking he sent them all a text message ... Quitters never win, winners never quit and players- are no match for me LOL

Okay- so I had to update this we'll call this part-

"The Morning after"

I got emails from one of the numbers and eventually sent her a text message, she let me know he got engaged in November using a CZ ring. What a cheap ass. I couldnt resist, I sent him a text that said

"YOU are engaged? "

Him: Was but what do you care it was a while ago, it didnt work out. Are you obsessed? Good heck drop it, its over dang.

Me: November LMAO OMG I dodged a bigger bullet than I thought.

Him: Whatever, Thanks for texting everyone.

Me: Quitters never win, winners never quit and players are no match for me. Juliane divorced you!

Him: Get over it damn

Me: You are a liar Patrick, I'm good, but you sir are a liar!

Him: Ok leave me alone. You already made everyone dump me so smile big and move on.

Me: No asshole YOU DID!

I posted on his facebook wall: Oh the tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive.

My GF gave me this quote: There are three kinds of men: The one that learns by reading; The few who learn by observation; The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. ... Patrick Parkin PP'd on the fence.

That boys and girls- is how you put a player in his place. I am however regretting not emailing all the women first and reserving a table for 8...

That would of been fun.. I just had no idea how much he had really earned that honor..

Lame Duck...Not interested- does not mean try HARDER!

So I logged on.. an IM pops up from the quack... Hi Jessica- my reply: I'm not interested. I closed the IM.

This is followed by an email: Honestly, if you aren't interested that is totally fine. I'd see us being more friends anyway. I'd just like some candid feedback as to why you aren't "interested". Thoughts?

My Reply: I didn't appreciate your approach. I'm straight forward, I put myself out there exactly as I am, you mocked this, insulted me and expected courtesy in return. I've had better conversations with inmates who touch themselves while I spoke. Like I said, try being straight forward. You want games, I hear yahoo will hook you up.

His Reply: Are you used to joking around? What were you in prison for?Honestly, I appreciate the feedback!

My Reply: HA, I joke all the time, but only do it in that sense when I'm ready for a round of "yo-mamma" jokes. What you need to understand is every woman on here has had more than enough lines, come on's, come aparts, bullshit, out of their league, nasty guys, old farts, mountain men, 40 year old virgins, married men, gay men pretending to be straight, players, wanna-be's, losers, and freaks. Be respectful. First impressions matter. Bad first email... most women just delete them, I let you know what I think.Best thing anyone said- find something you like about a person and focus on that.I wasn't in prison, I own the cuffs.

His Reply: You are sassy, but eloquent.You're mama is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t-shirt helicopters think she is a landing pad.

My Reply: eww

His Reply: I keep waiting for your "yo' mama" jokes. I can keep going.

I knew from the IM this was his attempt to keep the conversations going, seriously... Titan Style, NOT INTERESTED does NOT mean try HARDER.

Lame Duck for sale CHEAP!

Imagine my surprise when I log in to an email from this ... car salesman.. oops my bad "Health Care Business" I dont mean to insult car sales guys.. David Coles who sold me my new car was really cute and not full of shit.

TitanStyle : Looking for a fun attractive girl

He's a 33 year old from Sandy Utah

His email to me: So, obviously you passed the aesthetics test or shallow men (such as myself) would never contact you, but a buddy of mine was looking over my shoulder and claimed that – without a doubt – your profile looked to have been written by a guy; it’s just too perfect, minus the incompletion. He claimed that any account with so little information is a dead giveaway. I came to your defense, of course, but now we’ve got a $20 bet going as to whether or not you’re real. So I wondered, just between us, am I about to lose $20?

Ugg really.. thoughts.. Are YOU....talking to ME?

My Reply: What part of my profile is incomplete? " it’s just too perfect, minus the incompletion." He claimed that any account with so little information is a dead giveaway." Not sure what else you are looking for, I have put out more information than most. I don't play games and I'm honest so that makes me a dude? Eyeroll... the Tuesday night edition of the wall of shame has your name all over it.

If he only knew I WASN'T KIDDING!!

His Reply: okay...you caught me. just trying to start a convo. are you always this mean? is that your cougar way?

Seriously- is he really this dumb? I'm 37, he's 33 freakin years old almost 34.

My Reply: You tell me my profile is incomplete, you insult me by calling me a guy, and you want courtesy? 37 is hardly a cougar... kitten maybe. I realize you are used to childish things like kicking the girl you like, it doesn't work anymore. For your next victim try being sincere, real and don't kick her. Enjoy your time, you've wasted enough of mine.

Sometimes I'm tempted to date these guys just to meet their parents so I can ask what the HE double hockey sticks they taught their boys.

Lesson here: Kicking the girl you like may have worked in Kindergarten, it doesnt however impress a 37 year old kitten.